More, more, more
This fucking cunt professor decides to add another useless group project for nursing theory while everyone is already panicking for our main psyc theory midterm. As if we didn’t have enough to do and no clinical hours, paperwork, community hours, and other classes to attend to.
And she swears she helped us focus on what to study for the test…
Psychotropic Meds
Why you so hard to pronounce and spell???
Quetiapene, Desvenlafaxine, Isocarboxazid, etc etc. Plus I have to know your generic names. Also helps that there’s at least 150 to memorize.
Psyc/Mental Health Nursing
6 chapters, 4 ATI chapters, 2 pretests, and possibly a pop quiz on the first day.
What happened to spring break? I blinked and it was gone.
Harlequin Ichthyosis
The disease I have to do research on for my clinical project. I don’t think I can look at the pictures when I present this.
To do list
- Care plan
- Patient worksheet + med cards
- ATI pretest A & B
- Quiz
- 4 chapters to read for Peds
- 4 chapters of notes and chapters to read for Psych
- 3 chapters for Environmental Science
I can do this!
Last day of OB clinicals
Last night was a mix of agony and panic from writing worksheets and care plans that were supposed to be due today. Turns out our efforts were pointless; our instructor didn’t even want them! She evaluated us based on her observation and the nurses’ opinions of us. I admit I complained after putting so much effort into making my diagnoses correct and precise to my patient’s conditions and all that shenanigan only to be told that all my hard work was for nothing. Anyways, everyone’s most likely going to get a solid A. Now that I won’t complain about.
And another bonus was my NICU experience. I worked with 2 preemies, age 35 and 36 weeks. They were THE cutest little babies! Aside from doing assessments, changing diapers, and swaddling, I auscultated a murmur, saw chest retractions, and extubation of a 29 week old. And before clinical was over, I held one of my patients while she was feeding since her parents hadn’t come in yet. NICU is now on the list of units I want to work in :)
I was denied an opportunity to see a C-section and 3 vaginal births today.
So much for an instructor who wants us to “get out there and learn.” Other students seemed to be her priority and then complains why I have nothing to do. And then in the end she drops the news that we might not come back to the hospital because they’re shifting from paper to computer charting. I stayed longer than clinical since both of my patients were almost ready to deliver and were practically complete. I was so excited since I’ve been waiting for those babies for practically 12 hours and she promised to stay with us if our patients were about to deliver even after clinical was over. And lo and behold, just as the good stuff was about to start, she pulls me out to tell me I need to leave so she can go to work. *sigh* At least my patients were nice. And I got to practice starting IVs again but still working on the foley. Hopefully next week is our last week instead of this week. I really want to do more and I feel like I’ve been cheated.
/end rant
All nighters all week long…
Runnin’ on pure adrenaline since Monday. Another paper due, an interview, and 2nd OB midterm tomorrow… or later today. I miss you sleep! I’d be happy with 3 hours!
In other news, I got to see a vaginal delivery! YAY! Not as bad as I thought and it was pretty quick too. The doctor was running into the room and the baby’s head was already out but he caught the rest of the baby just in time haha
My patient on the other hand… had hx of depression and severe anxiety. The (best) anesthesiologist gave her epidural when she was 2.5 cm dilated to help calm her down but unfortunately it didn’t work. Given her already present state, she broke into tears and just gave up. She constantly stated that she won’t take the pain without epidural and she’d rather be put to sleep and have a C-Section. I guess many moms don’t really know the risk of having a C-Section. In NO way does it make it easier for the mom and baby; it only increases the risk for maternal and fetal death actually. C-Sections are counted as major surgery and there are a lot more complications associated with the procedure so it’s only used as a last resort for patients with medical and emergent conditions. The pain associated with vaginal birth may be unbearable but it is temporary whereas for post C-Sections the pain can last for weeks and sometimes without pain meds. Well before I left the unit the doctor gave her the option of using pudendal block so she’ll be numb in the perineal area at least.
Ok I needed for that review
Labor and Delivery Unit tomorrow
Super excited to finally see a vaginal birth or C-Section or both!!! Praying I don’t faint though. My first time seeing a birth was when I was 7 and I was NOT prepared for that craziness (my mom helped her OB friend out on the whim and I happened to be with her at the time). This time hopefully I get over my fear.
Fuck research papers!
I have a proposal due on Thursday and I still don’t have a topic! I had to say a topic in class last time and I just blurted out whether or not to circumcise newborns because blah blah blah. Now that I’ve had time to think about it and actually asked friends if the topic was weird, I’m contemplating on finding a new topic. I don’t think I’ll be comfortable talking about my topic in front of the class for many reasons, not to mention the class is mainly full of sociology, psychology, and history majors. Woot!
To change or not to change… I’m having a difficult time trying to find a new topic to do research on. Ughh why oh why!!!
Holy shit
I’m so scared for tomorrow’s clinical. First day in L&D, NICU or Postpartum. What the hell am I gonna do? There’s so much to know before I get there at 6:30 and I’m going to end up making a fool of myself and feel incompetent as ever! Lord help me I beg you!!!
Back to school again.
Yipee.
Well it was a good day at least! Nothing dramatic or embarrassing happened to me. After seeing my nursing cohort again I felt like I just saw them last week. It was weird…
Turns out I’m going to have a single oral presentation as part of a final for my writing class. And another in clinical. And multiple ones for OB. Now my anxiety has finally set in. I really don’t understand my fear of presenting - I mean I know everyone is scared shitless like me but all these horrible scenarios keep playing in my head and I start to panic. The first day of 2nd quarter clinical was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. I had to go up to the board and do simple math for calculating dosage and my mind just froze and I got the question wrong. Shortly after I was told it was wrong I started feeling dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out so of course I asked to sit down and didn’t finish my problem -_-
Since then my fear of being in front of the class has elevated to dangerously high levels. I get stressed out just thinking about it. Everyone I talk to tells me I over-exaggerate and I have nothing to worry about, which is true haha. I look back on my oral communication class and wonder how in the hell I survived that class with an A.
Ahhhhhh the joys of college. In other news, I can’t wait to actually start clinical and deliver some babies!!! Sucks I have to attend lab twice next week and stay in school all day though. I really need to sleep earlier. 4 am alarms are my most hated sounds.
And the verdict is…
I got straight As!!!
Way to finish off my first year in the nursing program. I was so disappointed with myself when I didn’t make it into the Dean’s List last quarter and all my hopes of graduating with honors went down the drain. But somehow I managed to get myself together and pull off this feat. The grades I received were not something I thought I’d ever see again since everyone made it clear that our regular As will turn into Bs and Cs. And that we’ll be more than happy to get those grades. Oh, how my standards degraded when I got my first B-. I started calculating the GPA I need to get per quarter until I graduate to see if I’ll still make honors. Since I did well this quarter, my overall GPA slightly increased. The next goal is to get my cumulative over 3.7 and so on! Hopefully I can make it. I still want to pursue medicine in the future and if I want to have any chance I have to grind my butt and get those As. But for now, focus on nursing and maintaining my streak. Yay!
Welp, this is a cause for celebration! But seeing as to how my face is practically peeling before my eyes and preventing me from opening my mouth without tearing my lips apart, it’ll have to wait. I refuse to let ANYONE outside my family see me in this state. Even my own family is questioning why my face is so red and burnt looking. I thought it was kinda funny actually, until I found out I’m going to San Francisco this weekend. WHAT THE $%*@!!!
Mehh, I don’t feel like doing anything until I see my aesthetician again next Wednesday since I’ll be gone on the day I’m supposed to see her. I feel so unmotivated! I mean my face shouldn’t prevent me from doing chores or anything not involving it, but I just… don’t want to. I guess I just adapted to the summer life too quickly? Haha or better yet I just upped the level of my ‘summer mode.’ I don’t think I ever got out of it since last year.
Just one more day!
And summer’s here! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Tomorrow will be the day I finish my first year in the nursing program. It only seems like a few weeks ago when I started and knew ABSOLUTELY nothing related to nursing. Now I know how to assess, give basic care, administer PO, SQ, IM, IV meds, suction, start IVs, do blood draws, etc.
It’s unbelievable how much I was able to learn in such a short amount of time. I’m still shy around patients which definitely affects my level of care for them not to mention my instructors noticing it. However, I think I improved maybe just a little. The reason for my insecurity is rejection and failure. There’s still SO much for me to learn and I’m afraid of being asked questions I don’t have answers to. I feel like I’m letting my patients down and don’t deserve to care for them. Another thing is I’m quite forgetful. Yes I make a lot of basic mistakes that not only make me look bad but my school as well. *sigh*
Anyways, I’m just happy to have accomplished a year of what I consider ‘real’ university level. It’s been a very hectic, sleep-depriving, ill-inducing school year but the reward is very much worth it. When I finish my last and hardest final of the quarter tomorrow I am going to skip through the hallways and sing~~~
Now time to STUDY!
